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CHALLENGES

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    This semester thus far has been the most mentally taxing on me in a while. So many overlapped due dates, so much things to do outside of school; I wonder how some of my classmates do it. Most of the time this semester, I've succumb to the act of simply doing nothing. Giving up, taking the longest breaks on the weekends, and staying up way past my original time for sleep just to complete all that homework I "forgot" to do. I mean, I've never used that excuse before unless I genuinely forgot, but it's come to a point where it's affecting my personality. One day I'm happy and ready to take on anything, and the next; it's like I want work to be work and nobody to bother me. I attribute this recent behavior of mine this semester to a few things:

 

    I entered the workforce. I had so much of my sophomore year planned out. I planned to work for a while, use that money to buy the things I need or want, and eventually leave to take some type of internship where my passions could shine. But it's been sucking up a lot of time that I could've spent focusing on my homework. As a result, it's been taking a toll on some of my grades, like dropping to a B/C in Algebra II or writing some pretty lazy rough drafts for Language Arts. Everything has just been lacking, and I knew it. I'm not sure if it was because having a job gave me this false sense of security or if I truly am that lazy, but I've been on the decline.

 

    To make matters worse, my grandfather passed away this November. Being very close to my grandmother, those grueling hours spent watching him slip in and out of death with the constant beeping, fighting for his life only to lose it in the end; it was almost as if death was laughing us in the face. And before we knew it, we lost him. Having to cope with my own grief as well as help my grandmother through it, who took it the hardest out of all of us made focusing on schoolwork and my job increasingly difficult. I was asked to write and speak a eulogy, as well as create a slideshow capturing his life for the funeral, and you know damn well I wouldn't make something disappointing to see.

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    These two challenges were not academic ones, but they certainly affected my academics nonetheless. They brought me down to earth; made me realize that I'm not above anyone nor am I below. It's just one level. The passing of my grandfather especially did that, because of how life can throw anything at anyone, with no regard for how personal preferences. I didn't necessarily deal with these challenges--I felt their consequences. Tough love, I suppose.

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ACHIEVEMENTS

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    I'm not proud of much of the work that I've done this semester. My group and I did earn 3rd place in a national filmmaking competition, yet I didn't make the group that would be going to a competition in the next semester due to my own personal, selfish mistakes in attempting to enter. I had a lot of fun doing this Media Madness overnight event with a lot of people in MeneMAC, but only to create a pretty subpar video. All of the achievements that I could have been proud of are easily negated by many things I'm not proud of; it's become somewhat of a trend this semester and possibly even this school year. So for the first time in my high school career, I'm not proud of my current educational status. Nothing in my educational status.

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    But that doesn't mean I'm not proud of some of the other more personal acheivements I made. Coming into this semester, Language Arts teacher Austin Zavala told us that this semester's theme is "Coming of Age", and that theme has been stressed both through various assignments. But I never thought it would hold so much meaning in my personal life. It's almost as if my "Coming of Age" occurred in two phases--the first being from adolescence to teen, and from teen to adulthood. That second phase has happened over the entirety of this semester. I've gained new tastes in music through expanding my library of genres, felt the gravity of losing someone close to you, experienced the "real world" through the work force, and so much more. This year has been the most important to me by far; it's the year where I truly feel "woke".

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    I dislike my academic acheivements because they've been negated by my multiple academic mistakes and mishaps. However, I'm proud of this newfound mentality that I've been forged into. This year has been a rollercoaster of some of the best experiences I'll cherish for a lifetime, as well as some of the harshest lessons that's been branded into my head to remember and learn from.

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    As such, I dedicated this semester's portfolio to the semester's theme itself, albeit, minimally. Recall the intro, where I discuss musical interludes. Such interlude is represented through the change in the background, if you didn't notice or understand.

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GOALS

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    Both in life and in academics, this semester has been a significant setback and improvement, as so much has happened within this year. I've made a lot of careless mistakes and I've not been putting my best effort in my schoolwork. Yet, at the same time, I've made several gains in terms of my overall passions through placing in a national competition and getting a job at such a young age.

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    Yet, there's still much more work to do. This year made me realize a lot of things; the harsh realities a lot of students face when working or participating in extra curricular activities, what it's like to lose someone close to you, and what it's like when you succumb to that doubt and fear. And as a result, my passion for making videos on a set schedule or really doing anything that I truly want to do has been miniscule.

 

    My goal for next semester and beyond is to regain that passion, and to realize where I stand. To realize that this job I currently have is simply to gain experience, not to serve as an excuse for missing out on schoolwork or as a thing to gloat about. To realize that life goes on, and to never linger too long on the most grueling of times; to memorialize mistakes and move on. My goals are more vague than they have been in previous portfolios, but I think that vague is a great place to start. It allows goals to be supple; to change with constantly varying circumstances.

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    Thank you for taking the time to read this portfolio. I highly appreciate you coming this far after reading a large swathe of material. If you'd like to be redirected to my blog, click here.

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Thanks,

Coby Shimabukuro-Sanchez